Here I am again, four days later and still feeling a whirlwind of emotions.
A few days ago, I went and dyed my hair blonde. I needed a change. I knew I had to do something with my life that I wanted for myself. I felt a little better as I looked in the mirror and found golden locks staring right at me but what little happiness I had was short lived...
I messaged you on Facebook a night later, and poured out my feelings to you.
You sent me a curt reply.
"OK".
I never knew that two letters of our alphabet could hurt so much.
It made me feel like you really don't give a damn at all.
Last night, in a bout of desperation, I messaged you again and you replied. We started chatting and some deeply repressed part of me took over and begged to see you just one last time. Of course you said you didn't want or need to see me and that I should respect your decision.
"I'm moving on and so should you."
I read that sentence over and over and over and over till I couldn't anymore.
I told you I'd still wait for you the whole day of Monday.
A big part of me knows you won't contact me to see me but there's this one percent chance that you just might. I know it's stupid of me to be hopeful when all you've done is push me even further away from you but I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. It feels like drowning.
Monday. 9am... *sigh*
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